Sometime in 2034, the number of older Americans will hit a major milestone, according to the census.
"We know that the number of seniors over the next, I guess, less than 10 years, is going to outnumber the number of children. And as a system I think we need to be thinking of, are we ready for that? Do we have the services and supports that are in place to to best support seniors?" said Melanie Highland who directs the senior and disability division of the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services.
She and other experts say that in Missouri, resources for family caregivers form a complicated patchwork. It can be difficult to navigate. That's true even for officials with the government or nonprofit agencies who try to help.
"I think that there is a need for somebody who understands not just their own individual public program, but this wider network. If you're only aware of maybe 30% of the services, then that's where you're going to direct that individual, not understanding the wider availability and how to even navigate that," said Highland.
The folks needing those answers are often families who have a loved one needing care. AARP reports that the typical care recipient is almost 70-years-old, and almost half of caregivers provide care to a person who's at least 75. People who serve as caregivers for someone 50 plus are themselves about 50 years old on average, but many are older.
"When John turned 80 and everything, things got slower," said Sharon Wingert who cared for her husband, John. "He couldn't get in and out of the boat."
Wingert's husband passed away in February of this year, just shy of turning 86. By the time he got to his ninth decade in life, Sharon said, John was living with not just one major medical diagnosis, but five. They included Parkinson's disease and another nervous system disorder, Friedreich's ataxia.
"One day, my girlfriend and I was talking, and she says, 'why don't you consider hospice?' And I go, 'well, he's not dying.' And she goes, 'no, it's not just for that anymore. It's for comfort care.' And I go, 'I didn't know that,' because John and I had already had the conversation about what he wanted me to do, and he wanted to stay in his home, and he wanted me to take care of him," said Wingert. "So anyway, I called hospice, and they came out. They explained their program to me. The next day they had the bed in. They had the supplies in. You know, the oxygen tanks. Everything that was needed. And the day after that, I started had a regimen of people coming into the house. And I will admit, it was scary because I didn't know these people, and they were coming into my house. But honestly, it was the best thing we did. I never met such compassionate people in my life. They really cared about John and me."
Sharon said she felt the end-of-life process of caregiving brought her and her husband together.
"There were days he couldn't even remember my name, and that hurt, but I had to keep remembering it really wasn't John, it's what was happening with his mind and his body," she said. "And one day he said to me, 'I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but you sure put in a lot of hours here.' And I said, 'yes, I do.' But. I wanted to do this, and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. And I am always one that I try to make things better or I want to. And through this process, I think John and I even became closer."
