Anew book is aimed at those caring for someone with Alzheimer’s and dementia. And its author knows firsthand what it takes to be a caregiver. KSMU’s Michele Skalicky talked with her to learn more.
Sherry Lynn Harris cared for her mom who had Alzheimer’s for 18 years. It wasn’t easy—she went through plenty of difficult times. But she found joy amid the sorrow. In her new book, Adapting to Alzheimer’s, Harris shares information on what to expect as a caregiver of someone with cognitive issues and offers support.
"It empowers the caregiver to know that, 'Sherry made it through it. This is how she did it. I'm going to try some of these ideas, maybe this will work for me,'" she said.
One thing that worked for Harris was having something to look forward to every morning like a cup of coffee or something else she enjoyed. She suggests becoming organized and getting rid of clutter.
"Ask yourself, 'is this the season of my life when I can do with less?' she said.
Harris says it’s vitally important for caregivers to take care of themselves. According to Harris, a Stanford University study found that 40 percent of caregivers die from stress-related disorders before the person they’re caring for. She stresses the importance of talking with loved ones about their end of life wishes while you still can—something she’s glad she did. Because she was proactive, she knew that her mom wanted to die a natural death.
"It just made it so much easier knowing that she had made these decisions and it wasn't my decision to make," she said.
In her book, Harris suggests things to do with your loved one who is facing cognitive decline. One suggestion is looking at I Spy books together to keep their mind active and even learning ballroom dancing, which can help exercise the brain as well as the body. And she says you need to adapt as cognitive skills deteriorate.
"If she thinks that you're somebody else, offer to be that person for her. Jump into the levels that she's at. Accept her at whatever level she's at and interact with her there," she said.
As she cared for her mom for nearly two decades, Harris struggled with grief and anxiety. In fact, she got to a point where she felt like ending it all. Overwhelmed and facing decisions she didn’t want to make, while losing a loved one a little at a time, Harris thought of not stepping on the brake as she approached a red light. She says she had to learn to live in the moment.
"There's a Chinese philosopher who said, 'if you're worried, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future, but if you're living in the present, you're at peace,'" she said.
She urges caregivers to eat right and exercise. Keeping a journal can help, too. According to Harris, supporting yourself in body, mind and spirit will allow you to be there 100 percent for your loved one. Her faith in a higher power was important, too, she says, as she cared for her mom. And she says, despite the struggles as a caregiver, there were also moments of joy.
"Every time that she knew who I was, that was a little miracle in itself. There were times I would come in and kiss my mom and she kissed me back. That was a miracle and wonderful. We spent a lot of time having fun together," she said.
Harris is an advocate for those with Alzheimer’s and other cognitive disorders. She travelled to Washington D.C. in March with the Alzheimer’s Association to talk with legislators about the importance of funding for research.
According to Harris, there are currently five and a half million people in the U.S. with Alzheimer’s, and that number is expected to double by 2050.
She explains why she wrote her book, Adapting to Alzheimer’s.
"I want to support all the people who have made this commitment to care for someone because it is a challenging job, and it's an honorable job, and I want to make sure that they make it through not only adequately but magnificently," she said.
Harris donates a portion of each book sale to the Alzheimer’s Association.
